As Benjamin Franklin once said, “In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes” – and we’ll add “and the evolution of the English language” to that quote! The website Death And Taxes recently brought some words to our attention that have been lost in time, but we agree that they’re interesting, and maybe even useful enough to bring back into common use. Old words die off and new words are born, and English continues to grow …

zafty
Someone who is easy to take advantage of, or to be forced or persuaded into doing something.

resistentialism
The belief that inanimate objects are actively hostile to humans; for example that the kitchen table deliberately moved so that you would bang your hip into it while going to get coffee.

beef-witted
Dull, stupid. The ancient Greeks believed that eating too much red meat decreased your intelligence, and in Shakespeare’s play Troilus and Cressida (set in Greece) one of his characters shouts, “The plague of Greece upon thee, thou mongrel beef-witted lord!”

tyromancy
An old method of fortune-telling by looking at the way milk curdles. Other ways to see the future included cleromancy (throwing dice), spodomancy (looking at the pattern of ashes after burning wood), and haruspicy (examining the entrails of an animal).

spermologer
Someone who studies or works with trivia.

snoutfair
Having an attractive face (literally – at least in the 16th century – “pretty nose”).

lunting
Lighting and smoking a pipe.

groak
To stare at someone while they’re eating, trying to silently will them to share their food with you.

jirble
To pour liquid carelessly so that it splashes around the container.

elfmill
The sound a worm makes as it eats through the wood of your house.

love-lock
A curl of hair hanging in front of the ear.